I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.

“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”

Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.


I’m sick of magical worlds with no technology. I want fairy run coffee shops where you can get a latte with a shot of charisma, because you’ve got a big presentation you’re worried about, or witches working at Apple selling phones that automatically appear in your pocket if you accidentally leave it somewhere, or psychics running hair salons who always know how you want your hair to look, or aura reader therapists. I just really want normalized magic in modern society

My mom hired a transgender girl this week...

  • Co-worker: Did you know she's really a guy?
  • Mom: Not when I hired her but yes, I am aware now.
  • Co-worker: How could you hire someone like that?
  • Mom: Easy, she's adorable and more than capable of doing the job.
  • Co-worker: Well as a mother, I am appalled that he's allowed to work somewhere with people's children.
  • My mom: Listen here lady, that IS someone's child you're talking about. You are an adult. Stop acting like a child. SHE is a wonderful GIRL.
  • Co-Worker: Well I just don't feel safe sharing a bathroom with her.
  • Mom: Okay, she's transgender, not some kind of sexual predator. She's not going to attack you in the bathroom. She's obviously a better person than you. You know what? Why don't you go complain to management about it because your ignorance and hate is really pissing me off.
  • Seriously guys.... My mom is AMAZING.